Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Activity calendar

Went to boot camp on Monday. Will go again today.

Blue Tuesday

I'm having a really blue day today. One like I haven't had in a while. I'm feeling really defeated by my financial ills. Bubba's financial crap has bled over into my credit report and I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and get it squared away. I don't know why dealing with shit like this makes me just want to plug my head into the sand. I guess I fear that I can't get it straightened up and off my report (which it should come off - as I never had a joint loan/account with Bubba that wasn't paid off). I just feel like it's never going to end - that even though I watch my money and pay my bills, that I'm going to be in this hell forever. I should have bit the bullet and declared bankruptcy years ago. I'd be done with this by now. Bubba is. He just bought a new house.

So, it's off to order a credit report from all the big three and try to figure out how to deal with this shit.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Psst - your slip is showing

Had a slip, eating-wise over the weekend. We had overnight company and so it hit me on all cylinders - availability of stuff I shouldn't be eating, a little bit of stress, and tiredness. Not a good combination for staying on program.

Eating aside, it was a good weekend. Had long philosophical talks with Bick about gratitude, living in the moment and outside one's own head.

Ran about 2.5 miles on Saturday morning. Did nothing much on Sunday.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Slips don't have to be disasters.

-Roxie

Friday, July 27, 2007

a few steps, just for posterity

Forgot to log my "run" yesterday. Covered 2.3 miles on the treadmill at lunch.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Do I own my posessions?

Or do they own me?

The winnowing down, the looking through, the cutting back has begun in earnest. I spent some time over the weekend going through what was left of my stuff at the Mango Hut. I've made a pledge to finish moving - and to select only the belongings that will fit into my bedroom dresser and single night stand. Oh, and the chest on castors that holds my cake supplies. So, I began to go through things piece by piece. I had several piles - the sell on ebay pile (yea, like I'll ever do that), the sell on Craig's (maybe), keep, donate and throw the hell away.

I didn't get a chance to take my donated stuff away, so Pebbles called me this morning just to make sure that I really did want to donate the stuff in that box. "Really? You are giving away that cup and saucer set? And my favorite table cloth?" Ouch. Shot through the gut. Getting rid of stuff at this level is tough. I've done a good job of getting rid of the easy stuff over the years. So each piece that is left causes me some level of discomfort with it's disposal. I was sorely tempted to take some of it back, but I've managed to live without even seeing any of it for months - and I haven't used any of it for years, in some cases. I do want to live a simplified life, my peace and serenity depend upon it.

Take care of yourself. Be kind to others. Take stock of your stuff.

-Roxie

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

booty camp

Another lunch hour at booty camp.

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Yesterday was my first evening commute in my new car. Bliss. Cool, comfortable bliss. Except when I stopped at the big orange box to buy some potting soil and a new outdoor pot. I am so used to having a truck that it was bit disconcerting to try to figure out how to pack all of that stuff home in Mitzi. Looks like I just named her, Mitzi. Like my first cat. Obviously my new commuter car is a Mitsubishi, of the space odyssey year. Pristine condition. I'm so fortunate.

And another source of my good fortune are the neighbors, J and J, from across the street. She works for a landscaper and has taken to bringing me home any extras that they have around. Monday night she brought me a full flat of coleus, so I HAD to go buy a new pot for the patio, right?

It was just lovely to get to come home and just putter around in the yard and talk with Bick. It was great to have a life through the week. My new work schedule, the new cooking regime and my new Mitzi are conspiring to increase my bliss these days. Praise be.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Increase your bliss.

-Roxie

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

they rolled away like chiclets

down the streets of San Antone.....

Spend my lunch hour at boot camp. Tossed a 3kg(?) medicine ball up in the air for what felt like ever. I feel I'm lucky to still have all my teeth.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Things are changing around here.....

Looks like Pebbles is moving back to the D for her new job. This leaves the Mango Hut empty. Not good. I have no real desire to be a landlord, so I've asked my Mom and Bette to move in. I'm hoping that the good outweighs the bad on that decision. On one hand, I know they aren't going to do any malicious harm. It will be much better than leaving it empty, which is just asking for trouble. Not having to pay rent could provide them with a financial buffer, which could be a long-term benefit, if they were to use it right. However, I cannot go into this with any particular desires/ownership about what they may choose to do - that way lies folly for me. I have to know and accept that for the most part, they will always make decisions that I disagree with and the important thing is that I do not try to fix or change them. They are doing me a favor by caretaking the place and I don't have to worry about it as I would with strangers there. And honestly, it will be kept up a lot better than it was during Pebbles' stay.

And as of today, I'm the proud owner of a new-to-me car. A foreign engineer at Bick's firm was leaving today to go back to Sweden and was going to the Carious Maximus to sell his car. Bick told him that we would make him a better deal and we did. I bought it sight unseen, based upon Bick's recommendation. It will certainly be a more comfortable, cheaper and easier commuter than Big Red. Bick says that I should drive it for a week and if I don't like it that we can easily sell it for double to triple my money. So, I'm off to the bank to get a bank draft.

I do, however, feel like I'm cheating on Red. I'm unwilling to part with her, but I know that letting a rig sit is the worst possible thing for them. I've got to make myself continue to use her for those runs to the lumber yard or the nursery.

Bick has lost a loved one over the weekend. His "Aunt" Sarah passed away on Friday night after a lengthy battle with lung cancer. While she wasn't technically related, she was the mother of his best friend in high school. Her husband ran the local garage in their tiny, tiny town and Bick, a fatherless boy, had gravitated to their boisterous home and he credits them with raising him, at least partly. Her funeral is today and I'm sorry that I couldn't get away from work to go with him, as he says this day will be one of the hardest that he has to get through. He may be gruff old fart, but he's a sentimental fool.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Fasten your seatbelt.

-Roxie

Friday, July 20, 2007

Spin class

Did a spin class today. Dripping sweat all over the machinery.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A rolling stone gathers no moss

Pebbles managed to get herself fired from her job selling rocks. I saw it coming, so when it happened, the only person in surprised was her. It was a bad fit and she really was never really into it. Honestly, I'm glad they pulled the trigger on her before she languished around there much longer.

Before her unfortunate dismissal, she had secured a large order of rocks from her former employer, but was waiting to submit it until she was on commission. The afternoon of her morning shitcanning, she called them to tell them to resubmit the order, as she was no longer with the firm.

The next morning, her former boss called and asked what it would take for her to come back and serve as the constr.mgr. on three new retail contracts he'd just landed. So, she's back with her prior firm, with a 25% raise, doing exactly what she wants to do.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Another day in boot camp

Went to another boot-camp-style strength trainings session. Worked my butt off.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Owning up

I don't know how many times in my lifetime I will have to grab ahold of sanity with both hands and just hold on.

Actually, that comment was overly dramatic. I can look down the road and see if I don't tweak some lifestyle things that my self-described food addiction will rear up again in a big bad ugly way. So I set Bick down this weekend and unloaded and asked for some help with a few small things that help me in a big way. I need to eat earlier in the evening and on a regular schedule. I need to eat cleaner, less cheats on things that are bad for me. I'm altering my work schedule to try to get home earlier by dodging some of the worst of the traffic issues. He was incredibly supportive and understanding and I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. So, it's back to maintaining a lifestyle that maintains my good health, on a variety of levels.

Went to the boot-camp style strength training today. Ran 3 miles on Saturday. Walked the dog 2 miles on Sunday. Ate clean.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Don't dump your problems on other people, but you can lean on them at times.

-Roxie

I never promised you a rose garden

My vegetable and herb garden was destroyed by vandals on Wednesday morning, although the damage didn't become apparent until a couple of days later.

Bick had mixed up a sprayer full of RoundUp and had set out another full bottle for us to use to kill some grass/weeds in preparation for putting in the new lawn. This was sitting on our FRONT PORCH. We needed to run into town for just a few minutes to drop off Bick's truck in the shop (it blew a head, turns out) and when we returned about an hour later, all of it was missing. I found the sprayer in the back yard, near the garden.

I'm just sick.

Friday, July 13, 2007

For my fiftieth

I've been asked to join a group of high school girlfriends to go to Machu Picchu. For me, it's a mere 3.5 years away. Damn, when did I get so old.

Home Again, Home Again

Back in the office after a two week vacation. Details to follow. It's good to be home.