Friday, August 31, 2007

Not at all what I expected

I love my doc. I was expecting a pat on the head, a dismissive attitude and a "it's all in your head" speech or somesuch. Instead, (and I don't know if this is a good thing) he took me very seriously, said that my symptoms were not of the menopausal variety and has scheduled various testing for next week.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

soy oh soy

Yuckiepoo. I'm trying to increase my soy intake to combate the menopause symptoms except that it turns out that soybars taste like dirty socks.


The massage was just heavenly. I may live and let other's live, too.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Hump Day

I'm feeling somewhat better, but I did break down and make a doctor's appointment. Not that he can tell me anything. I just want to understand exactly what is happening from a physiological standpoint. I'm not going in for a prescription, although I'm not opposed. I want to be taken seriously and not just patted on the head. I really like my doctor, but if he fumbles this one, I'm going to be pissed. The good news is that I will tell him exactly this.

Plus, I've got my massage scheduled for this afternoon and after yesterday's spin class, damn, do I need it! My work schedule is conspiring to keep me from booty camp today, but I'm rearranging my lunch hour to accomodate some kind of exercise before my massage appointment.

Bick's appointment with his cardiologist is September 14. We are both dreading and looking forward to hearing what he has to say. Bick has asked me to go with him - both to ask questions and to do have two sets of ears. Plus, he told me that he is pretty scared about this, given his family history and lifestyle.

We are taking a week's vacation next week to work on Reata South. There are quite a few things that we need to get done to make it better for the new tenants. We do have a couple of fun things scheduled - a trip to the Modern to view the new sculpture exhibit and a gathering at a local winery, followed by an overnight stay with some friends. Oh, and we are going to F'burg to attend this at the end of the month. I am so excited. I've been stymied at nearly every turn trying to find information and professionals who are interested in the same kind of housing that we are. This may be a little too "hippy" for us, but at least it's a step away from the McMansion builders that seem to be everywhere one looks.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Have a sleep over.


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

If you can dream it, you can achieve it

Or you are what you think. So I've got to quit whining/obsessing/bitching/throwing tantrums about the current changes I'm going through. I just need to continue doing the right things and let the other shit just fall by the wayside. Things will eventually right themselves, right? Right? RIGHT?

I thought so.

Monday, August 27, 2007

fucking hormones

I think I'm in the throes of menopausal mayhem. I've had that PMS feeling for a month. I'm retaining so much water that I can't wear my rings and all my shoes hurt my swollen feet.

I either want to chew someone's head off or disolve into a puddle of tears.

I thought all of this crap was behind me. Damn.

I've decided that I deserve a massage. Weekly.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

It's a wonderful life

Bick and I are both going through some adjustments, both as a couple and as individuals. And while it is a bit unsettling, I am calmed and reassured based on our willingness to talk about the issues at hand in a constructive manner. I know that I've never had this kind of rational relationship. I really feel partnered. I've never felt that before.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

pearly whites

Trip to the dentist ended up being the usual ordeal. Gah. I'm still sore today.

Home was itchy and scratchy as well. Bick and Sandy are cross-patch with each other over her college enrollment for the fall. She's (apparently) dragging her feet and he's frustrated with her lack of movement. I predict a disaster.

I'm just damn tired right now. I went by the Mango Hut yesterday after the dentist-torture and just sat down and cried. I've got so much left to do. Pebbles didn't do much in the way of cleanup, but she did say she was going to come back and take care of it.

Bick and I are taking a week off in September to finish my move and do some work around the Hut, plus a fun thing or two, I hope. I just hope I last until vacation.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Floss more.


Monday, August 20, 2007

Still Crazy busy after all these years....

Pebbles got moved into her new place this weekend, with NO help from her Mother. Thanks Guy! I went over to see the new digs on Sunday - what a cool, funky place. She's paying an arm and a leg for a small, small place, but it does fit her to a tee. I am hopeful she is happy there - she's less than a mile from her place of employment. So to celebrate not having to participate on Team Move, I took both she and her Guy out to breakfast on Sunday.

And then the beating commenced. She wanted to go to IKEA. I had never been, but was so excited to go. Jesus Lord above. Never, ever again. TORTURE. Nothing cheap is worth that price. I felt like I'd been beat with a hammer.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Know your limitations.


Friday, August 17, 2007

Take me to the fair

This evening Bick's former in-laws (Bick's ex's brother and his wife) are arriving from Kansas to attend the county fair. We are having dinner at our house (might stay with us, not sure yet) and then weather permitting, heading off to the fair. Along with the ex-wife and her guy. Not as weird as it sounds, or perhaps it is and I just am used to strange combinations of inlaws and outlaws.

Feeling a little better these days. Hair is actually cute. Back on program, eating-wise, but work has been stupid busy, so no real exercise this week, save a yoga tape. I'm planning on a long, long walk in the morning.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Ride the ferris wheel.


Thursday, August 16, 2007

Perhaps I was a bit hasty

The hair looks pretty good today.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Simon, the god of hairdos

smote me last night. I had the worst haircutting experience of my life. Of course, I committed the cardinal sin of getting a haircut when I'm anxious/pissed/ramped up. To ensure a good cut, one should only seek a haircut when one is pure of spirit.

I went to JKS International Salon where everything I said to the stylist was promptly and soundly ignored. "I want low maintenance hair. I've got great hair with a lot of body, but it doesn't do "sleek"." Result? She blew my hair out straight and then got out the flat iron - at which point I said WTF? Oh, and I looked REMARKABLY like Jane Jetson. Kay Bailey Hutchison Helmet Hair. "The hair on the top of my head is very long and thick and is flopping down in my face. We need to get some of the weight and volume out of it." Result? She took less than a half inch off. I could go on and on, as it was truly the most astounding experience I've ever had, and not in a good way. She finally admitted to not being able to cut curly hair. Oh, and after the first Jane Jetson experiment, she asked me to show her some pictures that I liked, so I did. Trust me when I tell you that the haircut that I am now sporting looks NOTHING like the pictures. NOTHING. The good thing was it seems that every picture I selected out of this national publication with hundreds of hairstyles came from a salon in Grapevine - Mortons/Moltons, something like that - and I can track it down based on that info. So the good news is that I may have found a really good place.

The bitch of it is, this salon is supposed to be one of the best in town, as voted by the local weekly. And the haircut wasn't all that pissed me off. My "stylist" and the next-door "stylist" we ragging on the "Christian" receptionist who would skip any rap song that came on the play loop. Now I am far, far from a ring-wing neo-con and I despise many things that have been said and done in the name of my God, but just because someone doesn't like music that generally denegrates and devalues women playing in a salon that generally caters to women doesn't make them "Christian" in the bad sense - "Christian" has nothing to do with it and failure to recognize that as a possiblity just makes the "stylists" assholes.

I haven't decided if I want to take this up with the management, sometimes the drama just isn't worth it.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Be a cut above.


Monday, August 13, 2007

Time to get it together

Crappyass weekend. Mad a Bick;mad at Mom;mostly mad at myself. I need a course adjustment.

Friday, August 10, 2007

How is this body thing supposed to work?

I'm attempting to make a food journal here. I'm also going to log my activity, etc. And here's the thing that doesn't make sense. Even on the days that I think I'm eating so badly, it's not THAT bad and it doesn't equal the amount of weight I appear to be gaining. Have I fucked up my metabolism that much?

Hostess with the mostess

We have a couple (and their four kids - eldest going into kindegarten this fall) coming to visit from out of state for the weekend. We are hosting a bbq for them and inviting some of their friends to come over and visit with them on their short stay in town. I forsee a busy weekend in my future.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Still here

In the duldrums, but hanging in. Nothing really wrong, just lots of piddling stuff that is accumulating.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Boot camp with a view

Went to boot camp class at lunch. Added an 11 minute uphill walk at the end.

Have you ever seen Dallas from a DC9 at night?

Sandy's 18th birthday was Saturday and as per her request, Bick took she and I, plus a friend of hers to the great ball in the sky restaurant. Bick and I didn't want to go, as we knew it would be way overpriced for what you get, but that's where she wanted to go - well, since the Mansion is closed for renovations. It was okay, but I think while Bick actually expected it, he wasn't fully prepared to lay down 4 large for dinner.

Walked about 5 or 6 miles on Saturday morning. I found a new place to walk and it was quite nice. I actually enjoy walking - or at least I do for the time being - if I remember to cover myself with Off. It's like living in the swamp down there these day, although I expect it to start drying out some this week. It's like living in the land of the plagues - this morning on my way to the car, I had to dodge about ten toads (and I harbor an inappropriate aversion to toads) - I suspect a voyer to the scene would find it amusing. I do not. While I understand that they are beneficial creatures and I actually like to look at them from a distance, I don't relish the crunchy toad walk to the car. And lately, they've been coming up on the porch.

Nothing much to report. Trip to the new farmer's market in my area netted some lovely tomatoes, cucumbers and some homemade pasta. Like I need pasta, but it really is great. I fixed some pasta for lunch yesterday and then fixed a spinach, tomato, cannelli bean concoction that was wonderful for dinner. Bick and I took the dog out for a nice walk in the evening. All in all, a peaceful lovely weekend. Oh, and I took Red out for a nice spin on Sunday afternoon.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Get a different perspective on things.


Wednesday, August 1, 2007

this is it.... It just feels perfect. Imagine it with some rusty-metal cladding on the entrance area, some Texas limestone and some industrial looking railing. Man, my heart is still just pounding - I don't care for the floorplan, but I love, love, love the look.

It's a better day

Got out of the dumps by late yesterday. Bought a new timer for the crockpot and hope I don't burn the house down today - or create such a petri dish of bacteria that I give both Bick and I some horrible food borne illness. I'm going to get my nails done this evening.

I find myself falling into the trap of failing to provide myself with enough self-care. I find it so easy to put other priorities over my own. And no one is even asking me to - I don't know why I do this, but I don't think I'm alone in this affliction. Seems like every woman I speak with will put everyone and every other thing in front of taking care of herself. It almost feels like I'm doing something wrong - both in terms on time and money - by indulging myself a little. And seriously, the nail thing is the BEST money I spend. It really is a simplifying thing. Spend an hour every three weeks or so and my nails look great each and every day. So why the hell does it feel like pulling teeth? I'm just going home to sit on the porch or cook dinner or fold clothes or any of the other tasks that Bick is perfectly capable (and willing) to do.

See, I think this is how it starts. "And then she just let herself go" - I don't think that it's always SHE, and the term "let herself go" implies laziness, a checkbox checked, and now she can sit back and watch soaps and eat bon-bons. No, I think it's just that we superimpose other priorities over our own self-care, and then before we know it, we've morphed or deconstructed into something else.

Anyway, I'm going to get my damn nails done after work.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Seriously, that first thing, do it.