Friday, August 28, 2009

In the Window Seat

I'm up early for my trip to NJ to attend Meg's wedding. I'm so excited to get to be there to share this wonderful occasion. I do love traveling solo. There's such a sense of adventure to it. And on this trip, I get to travel some by train. I'm inordinately excited by that prospect. I've got my schedules printed out and I will just have to be bold enough to ask questions if I am unsure of what I need to do.

I'd also planned to visit another friend of mine while I was in the area, but she's been a bit flakey, so I am unsure of how that will work out. But I do have a backup plan, and it's a doozy, so I wouldn't be all that sad if she's not at the train station to pick me up on Sunday. If that happens, I'll just crawl my happy ass back on the train and hoof it (well, ride the train) to NYC. There's a hotel that I'm familiar with on the Upper West Side and if I have to spend a day in the city, there are worse things. Looks like The Met and Whitney are closed on Monday, so it would be Sunday afternoon at the Met and Monday at the Modern before catching a late afternoon flight home. No matter what happens, it's all good.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Book your own adventure.


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Head 'em up and Move 'em out

Just a quickie this am. I'm off to do some yum yum yoga and then spend some time working in my illustrated journal. I've been neglecting it as of late and I always forget how much I enjoy scrapbooking, um, I mean illustrating my journal with pictures and mementos. I'm not a scrapbooker, really. Not.

I didn't get the okra put up last night, so that's on tap for tonight. Got the tiramisu for 18 people put together without too much trouble.

I'm looking forward to a great day, albeit a busy one. I've got a boatload of stuff to do before heading to New Jersey for the wedding weekend on Friday. I'll be packing light again. We'll see how that goes. Ha!

Nothing wise or profound to add. It's just a Wednesday and I'm looking forward to making the most of it. I'll sample another exercise class today at the gym. I am hopeful that it will be better for me than was the dance class. I'm no good at "jazz hands".

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Make the most of what you've got.


pic 1972 - me showing my beloved pinto pony Tinker at the county fair. It was my first horseshow, obviously. I don't know why I'm carrying a riata big enough to catch a moose. Nor do I know why I'm hatless.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Teflon Tuesday

My life as a dancer was short-lived. I suffered a career-ending brain injury about thirty minutes into the class. I hurt my brain trying to remember the dance routines. I found myself getting really irritated at the instructor, who with 16 years of dance experience, had little or no experience teaching old novices. I was getting more and more steamed, as there was no sweat and no cardio in the promised Cardio-Dance class. And we get to learn a NEW routine next week. And then I realized that I needed to reframe this.

Why was I taking this so personally? This young woman didn't get up this morning with the idea in her head to piss me off. It wasn't anything directed at me. It was time to don some teflon and just let things and my judgments flow right off of me. A better way to reframe this would be that I had some needs that this class didn't meet. I don't have to go back. It's not worth getting pissed over. It wasn't done to ME - I just happened to be there when it happend. Grab the Teflon and let minor irritations flow off of me. Life is too short to get irked by small stuff.

I logged today's dance class as .5 miles on the frequently tired program

There won't be an opportunity for exercise tonight as I've got a boatload of okra to put up. Plus, I've got to make a tiramisu for Bick's company potluck luncheon tomorrow. Hmm - wonder how I'll keep from licking the spoon on that one? I think I'll have an early dinner and then assemble the dessert.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Don't take things too personally.


She Got Up Off The Couch

She Got Up Off The Couch is a wonderful book that I listened to a couple of years ago. (Highly recommend) I remembered the basic storyline when thinking of Mizfit's and then Hanlie's posts on being your own superhero. As much as anything, I want my daughter to see and know that it is possible to change one's life. I want her to know that no one bad decision or set of decisions make life unrecoverable. There is always hope and there is a way to change to make things better.

It's hard for me to imagine ever being who I used to be - the woman who came home from work and collapsed into a recliner where I would live until bedtime. Pebbles used to tease me about setting up camp there and she was right. I lived in that big old LazyBoy - watching TV, eating junk and letting my world collapse around me. I barely recognize that woman now and I don't think she would recognize me at all. It would have been impossible to imagine that years later I would have evolved into this. I'm grateful for the journey. I'm glad I got up off the couch. And it's not like it's done - it's just now getting interesting. I get to keep getting up off the couch each and every day. It's the journey off the couch that's rewarding, not the destination.

It is my sincere hope and greatest wish that I've stopped, or at the very least, greatly diminished the chaos, dysfunction and disorder from moving to Pebble's generation. I haven't seen signs that she has ever experienced the self-loathing that so many of us have lived with for so long. My hope is that that particular hell bypasses her (and everyone) completely.

There's a new set of fitness classes available this week at the gym. I may try the dance class today. I don't know how to log it as far as my Frequently Tired Miles program, but I guess I'll figure something out. I'm looking to shake things up a bit and do something different. I'm so not a dancer, but learning some moves might be fun.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Get up off the couch and be your own superhero.


Monday, August 24, 2009

If You Knew Sushi Like I Know Sushi

Big Red

Malibu Something

Slater prepping Sushi with Bick looking on.

Yummy Sushi!

The new car has far too much going for it to be named Ken. I'm really having a Rip Van Winkle experience here, as the technologies that are now available just make my head spin. My car has a phone. I can call my car. It can email me if it feels poorly! You all probably knew all of this stuff, but it's new/news to me. I feel like I should name the car Hal.

Terribly busy today - but I do have a story. The guy was demo-ing all of NewCar's features and I asked "How do I turn off the seat warmers?" He looks at me like I've lost my mind and says "This car doesn't have seat warmers". And I'm thinking to myself "If this car got THIS hot just sitting here, there is no way in hell that I, a menopausal woman, can own this car - it would be Hot Flash Central. The deal is off." The car HAS seat warmers - the guy just didn't know where the on/off switch is. Turns out, I'd found it, accidently.

Went to Dallas on Sunday for sushi (prepared by Slater). Wonderful.

I'm looking forward to the gym today and looking forward to having a great day.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Be wow-ed every once in a while.


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Planning for the week

Sunday - Chana masala
Monday - Kung pao chicken
Tuesday - seafood kabobs
Wednesday - grilled pork chops with dijon sauce and green beans
Thursday - chicken and asparagus fajitas

We are supposed to go to Big D to have a late lunch with Pebbles and Slater. Don't know if that will actually happen - Pebbles can be a bit flakey. Got the new vehicle home yesterday - much fancier than I expected. I pretty much bought it sight unseen. It might be too much car for the name Ken.

Grocery shopping is also on tap - gotta support the above menu plan. We are also thinking about our fall garden. Need to get it in within the next couple of weeks. We think we need to put in another raised bed, but I'm unsure if we can get that done in time.

My plan is to go to the gym later in the day today to make up for missing yesterday.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. What are you planning for? Success, I hope.


Friday, August 21, 2009

Ode To A Pick-Up Truck

Introducing Malibu Ken. He's traditional, he's cute, he's mostly made of plastic.

He's the cause of my angst as of late. In late July, Bick made the gentle suggestion that perhaps it was a good time for me to buy a new car. Several incentive programs made the deal attractive, he said. He told me that Mitzi wouldn't last forever and if I was considering making another purchase in the next two years, now would be a good time.

All of this sent me into a near-panic - dealing with car dealers, taking on debt after just getting clear, trading in Big Red, could I even get financing? I told Bick I would have to approach this slowly. I needed a while to take it all in and make a decision.

So tomorrow, I deliver Big Red. I'm holding a wake tonight. Pebbles has said that after 20 years, it's like putting a family pet to sleep and she's right. That truck has done some wonderful things for me and for her. Her mega-watt smile came because her Momma didn't have to make a vehicle payment for the last 16 years so I could afford the 7k in orthodontia. Because I chose to drive that truck gently and tenderly for well over 300,000 miles, my daughter has a college education that was primarily cash and carry. Because that truck held together, I could eat while putting her through school. Because I chose to install a new engine for 2,500 dollars some years ago rather than buying a new or used car, I was able to crawl out from under a mountain of debt (until now, that is).

Malibu Ken will be my 5th ever car. My Aunt in WA is 72 years of age and she is thinking of trading in her 3rd ever car. How's that for stamina? We know how to hold on to vehicles in our family for sure. I think she's going to buy a new Camaro.

Over the last couple of weeks I discovered that I do have some money issues. I'm fabulous at saving and paying off billsand being thrifty and frugal. I was in that mode for so long that I've got that down pat. It was deciding to spend money that was the problem. Filling out a credit ap was one of the most stressful things I've done in a while. I'd been doing the ostrich thing about my credit score - not knowing really how the ExMrRoxie#2's post-divorce bankruptcy would affect my credit score. I didn't know if lenders would look kindly upon someone who once had 45K in credit card debt alone. Turns out, it was all okay. And I do realize that mine are nice problems to have. But it was time to face all of this head-on. So I learned a few things along the way and by noon tomorrow, it will all be over. Except for selling Mitzi - and there's a line of folks who want to buy her.

Exercise and food have been good this week. I've got a must-do luncheon today, so the gym is out, and then tomorrow bright and early is the car swap (all the negotiating etc is completed, it's just a matter of delivering, signing and driving Malibu Ken back home). I'll do my best to work in some exercise on Saturday. Right now, I'm off to start the day with some YOGA. Yay me.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Know your worth.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

This Just In

I think THIS has my name all over it.

I saw one parked on a bike stand this morning and just had to google it. This just may be a sign!

Has Anyone Seen My Wagon?

I need to find that sucker and crawl back on. I certainly miss being in a rut, I mean groove. I don't know when I'm going to find it. May well be September before things settle down.

Last night was a nice and relaxed evening at home. Bick grilled a Costco frenched rack of lamb and it was yummy. We both love lamb, but don't always cook it right, but last night we got it pretty close to perfect.

In other news, Bick and his sisters pay for a housekeeper to come in once a month at his mothers house. In hearing the payrate discussed, Sandy piped up and said she would clean house for that amount. And since she doesn't have a job yet, Bick hired her to clean our house once a month. I offered to pay for another visit, so she's coming in every two weeks to earn a little cash. Tomorrow is her cleaning day. She was over for dinner over the weekend and looked at our dinner menu that I post on the fridge. She saw that salmon was on Wednesday's menu and announced she would be joining us for dinner and spending the night so she would be here for her Thursday cleaning job. She's been an absolute delight of late and I don't want to do a thing to hinder her visits, but I am tired of company!

One piece of the financial deal fell into place yesterday, so that is good. I'll be glad when this is all over. I am hopeful that everything will be completed by week's end. It will be nice to sleep again. Last night was insomnia central.

Again, it will get better. I will get through this. I will get back on track.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Find your groove.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Keeping The Focus

I'm facing some financial decisions that cause me some fear and anxiety. It's nothing bad, it's just having to act like a grown-up and deal with adult things, including money. Turns out, dealing with money issues causes me discomfort. I've realized that I have some guilt and some fear and some shame all rolled up into my money issues. Lordy, am I a mess or what? No, I'm not a mess really. I'm finally seeing, feeling and attempting to deal with some of my "stuff" and sometimes it's not the most fun thing in the world, but it's so very necessary. The rewards are enormous. So I've just got to pull up my big-girl britches and get it done.

So have I been doing all my other really good self-care practices that I KNOW help me deal with stressors from a better place? NO. Have I been meditating? NO. Have I been practicing yoga? NO. I have I even taken a few minutes to practice some deep breathing? NO. I don't know why I let these things slip when I have proven to myself over and over again how much better I feel when I'm better able to stay in the present moment and not wander all over creation with my worried thoughts. Keeping my focus small lets me live a big life. It's a million little pieces that keep the big picture together.

I got a wonderful night's rest and do feel much better today. I've got a few financial tasks (see above) to take care of today and then I need to just let this go. I cannot control the outcome and worrying about it won't change a thing. I'll do my best and that will just have to be good enough. Let it go. Let it be.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Keep your focus.


Monday, August 17, 2009

Blocked and Bloated

Oy! What a Monday. Today my intention is to not let the stressors of the weekend bleed over into my Monday and on to those around me. My concerns are not THEIR problems. I shouldn't expect every one to indulge me. So I'll whine here and try to make good choices for the rest of the day. And while it's scheduled to be a rough day, it will end. Eventually. It will.

Weekend was full of houseguests and cooking many meals and sleeping on the couch and not enough rest and airport runs late in the night. Obviously, I haven't had enough routine in my life recently.

This morning was made worse by running late and then discovering that I missed the memo that all our parking passes/access cards were being changed out, so I get to work and can't get into the parking lot. That meant a trip back to the security office, etc to get all new stuff. Sigh.

But the bitching stops here. I can't change events but I can choose to change how I react and view them. I will get sleep tonight. I will have my house back. It will all be over at the end of the day.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Choose your views.


pic - me all dressed up and freezing at the dirt track races in WA a week ago Saturday.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Keep It Simple, Sweetheart

I am glad to be home and back into the routine, although work will be craziness for a while. It's nice to be able to cook my own food and get back to my workout routine. I haven't decided which kind of cardio I'll get today - I'll let the spirit move me once I get to the gym. And then it's off to the grocery store as the cupboards are pretty bare.

Bick's mother and sister are coming to stay over this weekend, so I need to get around here and get something done. My sister house-garden-dog sat for us while we were gone and everything was pristine when we arrived home. The house now looks like a cyclone has hit it. Work to do there. For inspiration, I'll leave you with this link to Emily. She writes and photographs a beautiful and inspiring blog, with simplicity as it's theme. Always good stuff. Right now I need to simplify my kitchen counters - too much stuff! It is a never-ending battle.

Pebbles is going to OKC to meet Slater's family today. His family lives in Tulsa, but will be in OKC for some other family function, so she gets to meet his parents and several of his SEVEN siblings. What a different life that must of been from that of being an only child!

I put my sister on a plane yesterday; she's flying into Minnesota and being picked up by a friend from Illinois. They are going to a bull and ranch horse sale somewhere in South Dakota. The logistics of all of that made me dizzy, but I'm glad to see her getting away a bit. I'll have to leave my company on Sunday night to go pick her up at the airport, but in the meantime, I'm driving Red Hot!
photo credit

Well, it's one more leisurely cup of weekend coffee and then it's off to the gym.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Find pleasure in the simple things.


Friday, August 14, 2009

Fear of Food

I consider myself to be in recovery from (self-diagnosed) eating disorder(s). My issues with food were never about that extra donut or a bit too much of something at dinner. My issues were much bigger than that - I used food to deal with stuff. So over the years, I've developed some fairly practical ways with dealing with the physical aspects while dealing with the underlying causes of my problems.

Like many lifelong dieters, I can calculate in my head the calories, carbs, fat grams of just about any food that you put in front of me. I began to think of foods as good and bad. Can't have that, it's "bad". I'm now trying to move towards a more balanced approach. I do still believe that some "food" is bad for you. I believe in eating a real, whole and identifiable food as a part of a healthful lifestyle. I don't care much for "Frankenfood" - overprocessed, fake this, fake that, etc. Not good. (Let's not mention my Diet Coke addiction now, shall we? Not while I'm on this soapbox).

I'm trying to find a way to be successful at this whole maintenance thing. And like every other aspect of this journey, one-size-does-not-fit-all. I try to avoid baked goods, as these are one of my weakest areas. I know no portion control. A single serving won't hurt me, but it's easier for me to say no to the first than it is the second. So I don't buy anything like this to bring into my house.

This past week brought up vacation eating. Overall I was pretty happy with how things went on vacation. Granted, I did indulge, but it was a controlled burn - I enjoyed a few things here and there, but not in crazy amounts. I am glad to be back and glad to be back cooking my own food and back to my regularly scheduled programming. As Bick said during vacation when I was whining about eating something, "You are not being bad, you are just having a treat. You can go home, get back to your routine and you will be fine - now stop feeling guilty and enjoy yourself. And don't weigh yourself for a week."

So is this successful maintenance? Will this strategy work for me? Is it too lenient? Time will tell. My hope is that I can move past some of my irrational "fear of food" and as in all things, find a balanced approach.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Find a strategy that works for you.


Thursday, August 13, 2009

A Business Opportunity

Stuck in Port Townsend

Roxie and Bick in the Sunflowers

Bick enjoying his vacation - this may be my favorite picture of him ever!

I can't imagine why I gained 5 pounds!

Now to the business opportunity. We stayed in Belltown while in Seattle. What I really wanted to see was the real estate in the area - I'm not buying or renting of course, so it wouldn't be right to contact a real estate or leasing agent. I think someone needs to start a tour business around the lines of "What it's really like to live here - the Urban Seattle (or whatever city) Experience". In my business plan, we'd look at a couple of apartments, from studio to larger and then view a couple of places for sale. Then we'd tour/talk about what it's like to grocery shop/cook/do takeaway in an urban setting. How does one deal with a pet? Commute to work? etc. I think a couple of hours spent imagining one's self living in the city would interesting. I'd pay money for that! But then again, I'm one nosy parker!

It was great to get back to the gym. Logged some FTMs.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Plus and Minus

Minus: Never, ever book an early morning flight with Bick. He is incapable of getting his butt in gear and we damned near missed the plane AND came close to a fight. Not a way to start off a vacay.

Neutral: Other than the gate agent at Alaska Air who told me we were supposed to be there TWO HOURS before the flight, the rest of the staff was superb.

Plus: Not checking luggage was a big plus. Right off the plane and to the rental car line.

Minus: I'd already paid the luggage fee online.

Plus: Priceline saved me some serious coin at the world's worst rental car location. Seriously, Seattle quit screwing your visitors! The fees are the worst anywhere I've ever seen and they are almost always sold out of cars in the summer time. I passed frantic vacationers trying to find a car, any car, to rent.

Neutral: We were in Silverdale visiting Bick's aunt when this happened.

Plus: In getting to Silverdale, I crossed over the "new" bridge. It replaced this one.

Plus: In getting home from Silverdale, we visited part of the state I hadn't seen in years.

Minus: Unfortunately, I got to see more than I bargained for because I didn't make ferry reservations and got stuck there for hours.

Plus: Bick decided to try Thai food and it was yummy. I had a dish called Three Kings and it was divine. Bick now says he favors Thai over all other Asian-inspired cuisine.

Minus: Overpriced stay at my hometown hotel. We arrived 15 minutes too late to enjoy the hot tub. Crabapples! I do believe in keeping my dollars close to the community, but I'm done with them. Unfortunately, it's the only game in town, so we'll have to move to a different town in the future.

Plus: The reunion was a blast. I loved reconnecting with friends from long ago.

Minus: Breakfast morning after the reunion with one of my favorite classmates who brought along her bigoted, racist, obnoxious husband. Done with that. Anyone who thinks that it's okay to talk like that is not okay with me. I don't care that you are both persons of color - racism and bigotry swings in all directions. Being brown and black doesn't make you immune.

Plus: One meal of pan-fried oysters. Yummy.

Plus: I picked fresh blackberries at a friend's house and made another cobbler. Yummy.

Seattle portion of the trip:

PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS: This place is incredible. I got a great deal on the room and our stay was spectacular. And there's a Whole Foods right there. I cannot say enough about this place. Truly the most wonderful hotel stay, ever! (I did feel a little hillbillyish, as we were/are pretty casual folks).

Plus: Did the Duck Boat Tour - had a blast.

Plus: Did the Experience Music Museum and enjoyed that. Bick (Nerd Dude) LOVED the Science Fiction Hall of Fame and we both enjoyed the Muppet exhibition.

Plus: We did the touristy Crab Pot dining, complete with bibs and mallets.

Plus: Pike's Place Market - multiple times. Love that place.

PLUS PLUS PLUS: Ballard Locks. I'd never been and we spent the most of the afternoon. Engineer and Nerd Dude Bick was fascinated. Amazing (and free).

I stepped on the scale this morning and showed a 5 pound gain. While I did enjoy a half of a small portion of mac and cheese for breakfast on Tuesday, some cobbler, a few fries with my pan-fried oysters, etc, I didn't do anything to prompt a five pounder. My body has proven time and time again that if I upset it's delicate balance (my normal way of eating), plus throw in travel, I'll blow right up. I'm not worried. I'm back into my routine and it will all right itself.

Pictures to come.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Stay positive.


Excess Baggage

We "went together" from the mid-eighth grade through until the beginning of our 9th grade year. I couldn't date, as I wasn't yet 16, so our going out consisted mostly of me going places with his family. It was a very fun, very innocent time. He was the oops baby to change-of-life parents and his nephew was actually in our class. His Dad died a year after my Dad was killed - while we were both in elementary school. (Sound like anyone else we know? - I'm sensing a theme I hadn't realized before) I didn't see the breakup coming - it came in the form of a phone call, with his mother saying in the background "Have you told her yet?" and it rocked me, hard.

Looking back with an adult's perspective, I can see why it was so devastating to me. It was at that time that the chaos of my home life was reaching an apex. No wonder I really clung to him, his family and the relationship. I probably was a lot to deal with. After he broke up with me, I never spoke to him again.

They say it's typical to grieve for a month for every year that a relationship lasted. Me and Miss Havisham believed in grieving/obsessing/creating fantasies for years for every month the relationship lasted. It took me years to get past this.

Honestly, it was only after Bick broke up with me early on in our relationship that I began to see a pattern in how I dealt with rejection. I did NOT deal with rejection well and finally I was self-aware enough to realize that my reaction wasn't normal or healthy and so I got myself into some more therapy. It was during that stretch of coaching/therapy that I started dealing with my codependent issues. So that's the backstory.

Cut to last Friday night:

He comes to the reunion with his nephew. His wife (also a schoolmate, but not a classmate) isn't there. I catch him looking at me several times during the evening and at one point we've both worked the crowd and ended up close to each other. He hugs me, tells me I look great. He asks if my sister still has that beautiful curly hair and gorgeous eyes. He asks about my Mom. He tells me he's glad that I am here, that he'd asked Heidi (event organizer) if I was coming. We exchange a few more pleasantries and each made our way to talk with others. It was a nice visit.

Later, the reunion (informally) moved from the winery (I had a two drink limit for the entire evening)to a local bar in town. I walked in, walked up to the bar, ordered my Diet Coke and went back to where the group was sitting at long tables.

"Roxie, I saved you a seat."

I sad down and we talked some more. Nothing said is untoward. It's just a nice conversation about mutual friends and our lives and he's telling me about his oldest daughter (he's a grandpa now, twice!) and he says, "Her birthday is October 6th, just three days after yours."

Wow. I know it's a small thing, but it really meant a lot to me. We chatted on for a while, as I finished my Diet Coke. I told him that I was hitting the dusty trail, that I was functioning on Central Time and it was time for me to head home. I wished him well and I left.

I wasn't seeking closure nor did I have any agenda with him, but I am glad that I was able to put down my baggage and reconnect with an old friend.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Let go of excess baggage.


I've Got A Dynamite Ass!

It's dynamite, all right. After eating Macaroni and Cheese for BREAKFAST yesterday, that baby is ready to EXPLODE. Wonderful stuff. Great vacation.

Random stuff to follow: I didn't wear the skinny jeans. I hadn't tried them on again since purchase and when I put them on the night of the reunion, they'd developed this whole jodphur vibe that wasn't working for me AT ALL. So, I grabbed a pair of Bick's 501s, threw on my Ultimate Cage Fighter Championship Belt (as Pebbles calls it) over my Reunion Top, kept the black pointy boots and headed off to the reunion. Had a marvelous time. More stories on that to follow.

I'm trying to catch up on emails and reading.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Don't get locked in.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009


A big thanks to the person who nominated Gravel and Rust for the "Reader's Choice: Best Weight Loss Blogs". Very Cool.

I've yet to pack. I've yet to create a list of what to pack. But it will get done, one way or the other.

Nice bike ride at the gym at lunch. I'm trying to get in some miles! I'd be a lot happier if I could watch HGTV at lunch, but there are only 5 treadmills in the whole gym that get the HGTV/Food Network/FIT TV channels. Yes, I'm one of those who will watch the Food Network while working out. Instead I switched between Overhaulin' (today was a 1970 Monte Carlo) and Michael Irvin's story - His Road to Canton. I'm such a girly-girl.

I am taking my running shoes and I hope to get in some exercise while on vacation- probably while Bick sleeps in.

I'm still facing some challenges (so far, I'm winning) with stress-eating. I've used a few of my tactics to not listen to the siren call that eating inappropriately will make me feel better. It doesn't. And I just need to keep reminding myself.

I tried to upload my senior picture that a "friend" posted on FB, but it's too small to even see. What a hoot! All glamorous in a Jessica McClintock Gunne Sax blouse. The above picture is of the exactly same blouse I wore! You can find a picture of damned near anything on the internets.

Be sweet while I'm gone.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Wear classics.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

BigAss SpongeButt

I've wasted time this morning trying to find and upload the scene from Grosse Pointe Blank where Joan Cusack's character, in describing her high school reunion says, "It's as though everyone had swelled". Apparently such a clip does not exist and if it did, I would be unable to upload it from YouTube. You young people and all your technology!

A full week plus after indulging in some bread-based appetizers (bruschetta), my body has decided to let go of a little bit of the water weight/bloat/inflammation that happened after I ate (for me) too many simple carby things. My butt must be like a sponge that retains every drop of water that it can! Drives me crazy. It's that hungover poufy feeling that makes it difficult to get back on track, I think because physically, I feel Off. Not exactly how I wanted to go to the reunion, but what the hell.

I'm back to feeling closer to normal which is good but just in time to travel, which my body hates with an equally retentive passion. I'll just be Puffy McPufferton, BigAss SpongeButt at the reunion. Do you think that'll fit on a name tag?

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Reduce the swelling.


Monday, August 3, 2009

Keeping (My) Cool

The AC at Reata South went out yesterday afternoon. I'm opting to replace the compressor rather than the whole system at this time. It will be replaced this afternoon/evening. I'm heading out there soon with a pile o'money. I still have trouble dealing with situations like this. As a result of living pretty much on the edge since childhood, I used to go into a full-blown panic when something like this would go wrong. It still takes me a while to talk myself down from the ledge and be able to make rational decisions, but I'm getting better.

We went to brunch for Sandy's birthday yesterday and had a lovely time. Her birthday isn't until Tuesday but she has other plans for the actual day. She's coming over for dinner on Wednesday to wish us bon voyage.

I took myself to the gym yesterday afternoon as I found myself wanting to snack, snack, snack, while Bick was taking a nap. Being secretive with food is an old behavior for me that I don't want to resurface, so I just changed clothes, threw a book in my bag and headed off to the gym. I read and rode the recumbent bike for a while. Packed my appropriate food today and went to the gym at lunch.

I've got a million things to do between now and Thursday. Our flight leaves at like 6:30 am. Why do I always think early flights are a good idea?

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Stay cool.


Sunday, August 2, 2009

The Big Picture in Sharp Focus

Keeping one's eye on the prize can be difficult. It's easy to get sidetracked, drawn off on this tangent or that. Situations or things somehow gather momentum until they suddenly seem important, when in fact, they are not.

I embarked on a quest/journey/search for a deeper, more meaningful life in 1996. The journey has been made in three-steps-forward-two-steps-back cadence. I'm happy with the progress I've made overall, but I just need to not lose sight of the desired outcome(s). It's progress, not perfection. Live big by living small.

I want to live each day in a thoughtful, mindful manner. I want to be an importer/exporter of joy. I want to overcome fear. I want better relationships, starting with the one I have with myself.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. May we all be at peace.


Saturday, August 1, 2009

A Prayer

Today there are bloggers - some that I know and some that I don't - who are going through trying, difficult and, in some cases, tragic times. Each Thursday, my restorative yoga teacher leads us in dedicating our practice to those in need of our compassion and strength. My practice today is dedicated to anyone reading this who is in need. I will practice loving kindness today in your honor.

May you be held in compassion.

May you be free from pain and sorrow.

May you be at peace.


prayer from the book The Gift of Loving-Kindness

With much love,