Saturday, February 27, 2010

Breakfast In America

"Could we have kippers for breakfast, Mummy Dear, Mummy Dear?

They have to have them in Texas 'cause everyone's a millionaire"


Well, it's not exactly kippers and I'm certainly no millionaire, but it is Texas and I'm having fish for breakfast. Not because I'm English, but because I'm cheap. Breakfast this morning is my last meal at The Closet before setting out to Dallas for shopping and sushi with Pebbles and Slater, an overnight stay with them and then on to The Alamo City for a work trip. And fish doesn't hold and it's not sushi grade, so breakfast it is.

I actually grew up having fish for breakfast sometimes. In the PNW, there is a large Scandinavian population, so salted cod in cream gravy over toast or biscuits wasn't unheard of. It's all a matter of what you get used to - and I got used to cream gravy, no matter what the other contents! I will not be fixing creamed gravy anything - just the usual tilapia. And if I putter around on this computer long enough, it will be brunch, not breakfast. Between the tilapia and the sushi later in the day, my mercury should be rising.....

Had a wonderful morning this morning. Slept a bit late, knowing I wasn't going to meeting this morning - I went last night instead. Today is the Cowtown Marathon and driving in the city until after noon is pure folly. I headed over to the gym this morning and the 5k people were running right by me on their way from the start of the race. So I stood and cheered for them, just a lone weirdo, clapping for them as they went by - and I did not care one whit. I did the same thing after my run at the gym, as the half-marathoners were running by the front of The Closet on their way back downtown to their finish. I needed more cowbell, however.

My very first race was the Cowtown 5K, four years ago this very weekend. I'll to go back and read my entries from that time - I can't access them from here. Pebbles ran it with me, which was just awesome. I'll have to remind her of that today. Her Momma can still crank out a 5K, can she? It was an amazing thing for me to complete. I was so proud of myself and so I get a good deal of joy hearing about others' excitement and experiences running their first group race like that. I'm heading over to Shelley's blog to read about her experience last night.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind others. Share in their joy.

-Roxie
152

Friday, February 26, 2010

You Can Leave Your Hat On

My Mom and Sis surprised me with a belated V-Day gift - the pictured Vince Camuto Carma booties. The upside? Cute, cute shoes. The downside? Obviously Mom's shopping again. Repeat after me "I have no control over other people". Say it again. Anyway, they are cute and I will try to enjoy them - since they were given to me with no shoe box and no receipt (and no, I don't think she stole them). That's just so I can't return them. In my family, we are firmly committed to our addictions.

Did day 1 of the New Rules of Lifting for Women this morning. Unpleasantly surprised at my lack of strength, but I will not let that deter me. If I was all strong and stuff, I would have no need for such a program. I had to make a couple of mods - regular rows instead of seated rows and I had to take my weights outside the gym to find something to step on. I also need a watch if I'm going to time my rests between activities. Oh, and obviously, I cannot do the pushups, so I'm starting with the "easy" ones and hoping my shoulder/rotator cuff issues don't spring up again. I am taking it slow and easy. I can do this and prevent injury because I've got all the time in the world. I don't have to be the best, the fastest, or the most agile (heaven's to Betsy on a pogo-stick -there is just no way to remain graceful upon entry and exit for the prone jackknifes!).

Now on to the hat story - a few days ago I went for the big bike ride. I do not have a helmet, but decided that I need to get one. Yes, it's dorky, but this old brain is the only one I gots and I'd like to keep it intact for as long as possible, so I set out to Target to buy a brain bucket. Did I mention that I have a big old head? Not hugely (said in the Donald Trump voice) oversized, but at 7 1/4, it is a bit large for a short woman. Anyway, I'm in the Target trying on helmets and none of them fit. All too small. I pick up a purple one and snap it one and it fits! YAY! Except now, I can't get the damned thing off! It won't unsnap/unhook/unwhatever. What the hell do I do? Go up to a complete stranger and ask for help getting off my hat? Just walk through the checkout stand, bend over and scan my head? Then what? Wear the SOB to bed? Crap! I'm in a blind panic in the Target store with a purple big helmet permanent affixed to my big old head. Why does this crap happen to me? So I just push my cart to an area of the store (wearing my purple hat) to find a mirror to try to extricate the cranium cover. I finally find a mirror and get the dammed thing off. The snap closure was this pronged affair, and in my haste to find a helmet, I'd got it attached slightly askew and it didn't want to unleash. So even though it fit my big head, it was too easy to put on incorrectly, so I passed on the purple one. In the end, I bought nothing. Which is a shame, because a mind like this would be a terrible thing to waste.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Wear protective gear.

-Roxie
153

Thursday, February 25, 2010

MAN UP

I've been putting myself to bed a little earlier these days, as getting up in the morning was getting difficult and that seems to be working. I'm a bit ashamed of the early hour, but it's still less than 8 hours. I get up at 5am but apparently don't wake up until nearly 6 when it's time to head to the gym.

This morning was a bit different. While I was sitting in my big comfy chair, drinking my first half cup of coffee and reading blogs, when the man up above me started some sort of tribal drum circle/riverdance/Beyonce Bounce. Then I heard the faint stirrings of some sort of alarm. It just kept going and going. Then the fire alarm started in the whole complex. Ear piercing. I decided since the gym was in the other (unconnected) building, perhaps it was time for me to hit the gym. I was smart enough to take my purse and a heavier coat - well I was smart enough to go back inside and get my purse and a heavier coat after stepping out into the hallway and smelling actual SMOKE! I left the building just as the fire trucks were arriving. I gotta say they were quick! I went ahead to the gym, as today is a run day.

Not a soul in the gym this morning, so I had the place to myself to crank out my 5k. I also had some time to poke around the weight room and get a little bit more comfortable. I did just one of each of the exercises from the NROL4W so that I would feel more comfortable in practice for tomorrow. I also created some very specific training logs so that I won't feel so lost as to what to do next. I also spent some time in the weight room yesterday using the rowing machine and watching a bit more intently how and what to do. (And what not to do - there was this young man, wearing the toe shoes - I think Nike makes them - where each toe is separated.) Anyways, he's wearing those things and a T-shirt that says MAN UP, got his headphones in and goes into the weight cage. Funniest thing ever - as he approaches the bar, he starts dancing. I mean seriously dancing! Hip swaying, booty shaking dancing, right there at the weight bar, wearing toe shoes and a MAN UP t-shirt. And NO ONE paid him any attention. No one cared. No one laughed. I mean, I smiled to myself, not that I thought he was silly, but because he was so, well, free. He may be my new weight lifting hero. MAN UP indeed.

Had a good evening last night. Finally did what I said I was going to do and attended a lecture after work. See, I have created this activity calendar for myself and whenever I see or hear of something interesting, I put it on there with an email reminder to myself at an appropriate time prior to the event. What ends up happening more often than not is that I just decide "I'd rather go home". And that attitude doesn't do a thing to make my life any more full. I end up doing the "same old, same old". I trying to push out of my familiar zone - I won't call it a comfort zone, because really sometimes it's more of a trap, but it's a familiar trap. So I do need to continue to do things - sometimes for enrichment and sometimes just for mere distraction. And last night I did. I attended a lecture on sustainability and environmental issues. From listening to the speaker last night, I may be turning into a thermometer with all the mercury that is in fish.

And since the move to The Closet, I've been eating a lot more fish. Thanks to a recipe from fellow blogger Brian, I've been preparing tilapia as of late. Brian gave me a recipe that called for olives and capers, two things that Bick could not abide, so when I left, I took them with me. So while I've never been particularly successful at fixing any sort of fish other than salmon, this recipe or technique is really good. Thanks Brian. Now I can take my own temperature. Sheesh. One more thing to be concerned with, I guess. Although since I'm not having any children, I guess the merc stops here.

All in all, good day yesterday, but I didn't get started on knitting that hipster scarf. There's always tomorrow. I leave on Saturday for a night with Pebbles and Slater and then leave on Sunday morning for a four day work conference in San Antonio. I come back on Wednesday and on Thursday, I'm having the "girls" over for a wine/cheese thing before we all go to an opening celebration held by the city for this development. Should be interesting. That's all the news that fits.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Run like your pants are on fire.

Roxie
152.5

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Overcoming Weightfright

This morning's workout was sort of a failure. Looks like I need to have a stronger, better plan in place before attempting the NROL4W. Here's how it went down:

I've been reading the book a bit at a time since it arrived but hadn't got to the actual lifting part. Decided to read that this morning while warming up on the treadmill. I went through it and it seemed straight forward enough - start with squats, etc. I got off the treadmill, went over into the weight room (which is quite small) there was another person in there. It wasn't obvious to me how to get all the heavy weights off the bar and rather than risk looking stupid (because obviously the other woman in the weight room CARES what I'm doing), I just left. As I'm walking back to The Closet, I was asking myself "What just happened there?"

Obviously, a case of not being in control and being uncomfortable. I usually pretty decent at heading those off at the pass, but I didn't expect anyone to be in the weight room and I didn't expect the weight bar to be loaded already. Okay, so now I know what to expect. I'm going to prepare a little more for the next time. Use a little visualization - and perhaps hang out in the weight room at work a bit more to see how these free weight things work. I'm certainy comfy using "the machines", so I'll get comfy with this too. If I continue to stay in my comfort zone, nothing ever changes.

In knitting news, I spent some more time learning to purl last night. Upon the advice of a FB friend, I went out to youtube where there are some fabulous instructional videos. Seriously, if learning from a book or even a person was frustrating, youtube is your friend. You can just keep replaying it and replaying it until you get it right. Awesome! Tonight I will unravel what I've purled so far and I'm starting on my hipster, soy scarf!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Move outside your comfort zone.

-Roxie
152.5

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

In A Twist



Okay, so I "Ate The Toad" first thing this morning. 5k - knocked out. I still haven't found my running tights, so I think they may be long gone. Darn it! Anyhoo, I was at the gym with 3! other folks running this morning. Having company allows me to play some mental games with myself, using my petty self to not let others outlast me on the treadmill. Oh, they can outrun me, for sure, but I've got stamina on my side. Made the time go a bit faster. Felt pretty good. Cardio health is still spot on, didn't overexert at all. Skeletal/muscular was fine, too. No ill effects showing up so far. Will need to build up slowly over time, as I don't want to injure myself.

I've mentioned here before that I was getting the creative urge. I'd talked about sewing again or making the penny rugs, but I really don't have room for that stuff. I was trying to decide between knitting (which I sorta already know one basic stitch) and crocheting, which I probably know one stitch as well. I decided on knitting and was headed out to Michael's to pick up some supplies to knit a scarf. I'd also located (along with Shelley's help) both a knitting class and a social/textile gathering - both of which appealed.

But first, I wanted to stop at TJMAXX to run through their home decor clearance area. I'm still looking for a few pieces of something for the walls - for cheap. I didn't find any fabulous art, but The Universe had something for me. There, by itself, all alone, the only thing like it in the store, was to be my new knitting kit. Needles (bamboo), yarn (soy wool), instruction book (in very fine print) cool patterns (for a TUBE TOP!!!) along with some various and sundry other supplies. On clearance. Score!

I know how to perform the knit stitch, but I'd never learned how to purl. So last night, I spent several hours trying to purl. Because if I can drop these pesky five pounds, I'm knitting myself a tube top with a matching slouch hat, cause I'm a hipster like that. NOT.





Had a good evening, ate well. Got a good night's rest and got in a good run this morning. I am very thankful.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Don't come unraveled.

-Roxie
153

This Too Shall Pass

And it did. Yesterday's malaise seems to be gone this morning, but this is real life, so I'm sure it will come back to revisit again. The key is to just get through it, as was said yesterday, without doing any harm. Thanks for the support, here and via email.

I'm feeling a bit more energized this morning and am off to try to get in that run. Will add more to this post later.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Weary Kind

Boy, that's me on this Monday morning. I hit the snooze button twice - very unusual for me. I did manage to hit the gym this morning, but lord knows I did not want to. For whatever reason, it just seemed insurmountable this morning - get workout clothes, shoes socks etc - getting it all together seemed just too much - crazy talk, I know. I finally had to apply some logic to the situation and give myself a stern pep talk "Roxie, you know exactly where your workout clothes and shoes are. You know it will take you exactly thirty seconds to get them on. Just shut up and do it." So I did it, even thought I didn't want to. I came back from the gym and made my breakfast to take to work, even though I didn't want to. I took the time to dress nicely, even though I didn't want to and I took a few minutes to straighten up The Closet so all would look serene when I came home, even though I didn't want to.

Yesterday was uncomfortable for me - the movie was very hard for me to watch. I could tell it affected Bick as well. It left me pretty deflated - good movie, but subject matter a little too close to home. And when we got home, I tried to begin a discussion with Bick regarding our situation, starting with the realization that we were three months in and nothing had changed. He told me that he was sorry that he wasn't keeping up with my schedule and he left. I'd hoped for a more meaningful discussion, but I guess enough was said and that he understood that I am not happy with things as they are.

I am working on adding to my activity calendar. I'm looking for some creative outlet - I wish there was some "Stitch and Bitch" stuff going on around here. Something to investigate, for sure. Sorry to be such a downer this morning, but that's how I'm feeling. It's not how I'm acting, however. I'm acting "as if". I'm not making anything worse.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. First, do no harm.

-Roxie

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Saturday Evening Post

On Sunday morning. Yesterday didn't turn out as I'd expected, although I guess life never does. I set out to get in about three miles yesterday morning before Meeting, but because I am sssllllooooowwww, it didn't quite work. I got in 2 miles before the clock told me I needed to hit the showers if I didn't want to stank up the group. So I did. I figured I'd come back and get in the mileage later. I was trying to seek a balance between body and soul - yes, my exercise was important, but so was working on my other stuff.

I went to meeting. It was rather dull - topic was service work. After the meeting was over, it was mentioned that no one had signed up to lead meetings for March or April. I've never led a meeting, but made the comment that if I had an opportunity to see what the "meeting leading book" looked like, I'd be better prepared and would feel more comfortable leading. A woman who has been in the program for years and years (actually started this group) stopped her conversation with another person and began listening to mine. She then proceeded to tell me that - well, I'm not really sure what she was saying because I'm still kind of stunned by all of it - what I HEARD her tell me was that I wasn't well versed enough in the traditions to lead a meeting. Now for those who don't know, leading a meeting isn't preaching or teaching, it's merely providing structure to make sure all the required elements are covered. Anyway, I just sat there kind of stunned, not saying anything.

Truthfully, I don't care if I lead a meeting or not. Makes me no difference - I lead plenty, and I do mean plenty of meetings in my work life - I'm not missing any opportunities to show leadership. Leadership I've got in spades. But I do have a couple of things rattling around in my head over this: 1. Most important - How can I not let this incident cloud what has been a very helpful program for me? and 2. What was she talking about? On item 2, if I decide it's important, then I will find an opportunity to ask her to be more clear.

Now to deal with my reaction - because I'm in this program partly to be able to deal with my reactive self - my reactions were usually fire or ice - opposite ends of the spectrum. Now trust me, I'm happier with Ice than my old fire-breathing self, but I'd like to be rocking the middle on this one. To be able to engage in constructive, instructive conversation, rather than just stunned, frigid silence. Both of these reactive states tell me that whatever this was touched someplace where I've a case of arrested development and that I need to work it through.

So I'm working on reframing this incident to see where it takes me. In the mean time, I cried a bit over it, after coming home. I drug out my on-loan bike and hit the road. I went for an hour plus bike ride, came home in a sweat and cried over it some more. Sounds like I needed to cry! That's probably true. I've been feeling a bit fragile and sometimes a good cry is exactly what is needed and it had been a while.

I cleaned up and did a little Thrifting, but found nothing of interest and then went grocery shopping. I bought myself a beautiful salad from the deli counter at the Super Target - grilled chicken breast over greens with sliced strawberries and blueberries - $3.99. Dinner! Score! And somehow it never made it home with me. I've looked in the car, and I know my basket was clean, so I guess it never made it into the cart. I didn't go back to get a replacement. I will take the receipt and explain the next time I go to the store, but it was disappointing.

Today is meditation/church, then Bick and Sadie are coming into town. We are going to brunch and a movie while his carpets dry out. He's having them cleaned this morning. We are seeing the new Bridges movie - the one with the alcoholism theme running through it. Not what I want to see, because I'm living that right now but perhaps it will be the perfect lead in to the conversation that we need to have. We are coming up on three months apart. Where the hell has the time gone?

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Find the middle of the road.

Roxie
152.5

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Quit Fiddlefarting Around and.....

go to the gym. An entry can wait! It's called "Eating the Toad". If you do it first thing in the morning, the rest of the day is so much better by comparison. I'll be back when I've done my 5K.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Chumming for Sharks

This morning got off to an interesting start. I went to the gym this morning with the intention to run a bit - I'm looking to Saturday for a longer run - and about a mile and a half in, I was hit by a wave of nausea. Not a fun way to start the day.

I fled the treadmill and the workout room and headed for the nearest restroom, down a blind side hallway by the elevator. I went in, fumbled for the light, locked the door and waited to see what would happen. Whatever it was that caused the sudden wave, didn't reappear again, but I decided I was done for the morning. Except I couldn't leave the bathroom! I don't know if this restroom had ever been used or locked, but it took me several tries and some sheer panic to get myself out of the loo! I've got to start taking my phone with me - it could have been hours before I managed to get anyone's attention had I failed to open the door! Whew!

And now here at work, that person whom I find very irritating, that I must work with, who I would really like to throttle right now, has been calling me about something about every fifteen minutes since the crack of when-I-got-here. I really need to get a handle on my reactions because I'll not survive nearly six months of elbow-to-elbow work with her. I've got to figure out a way to fix me that doesn't involve Ore-creamcheese-truffle thingies that someone brought to work for a birthday party. A part of me wants to dive right in, but right now, the part that knows that I have no brakes, knows that I cannot eat just one. It would be like chumming for sharks! So I'm off to the gym here in a bit to get some of this tension worked out, otherwise this Roxie will be spitting gravel!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Work with your weaknesses.

-Roxie
154

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ode to a Shoulder Pad and My Boyfriend Blazer is Back

Dear Shoulder Pad,

Oh, how I have missed you.

My new boyfriend jacket fits so much nicer because you are there.

Now that my shoulders are in better proportion to my two-axe-handles, I feel so much better. I look taller and I look leaner and I thank you.

Now that my boyfriend blazer is back, it's showing an elongated profile, so no more "shrunken" jackets for me. No more looking like I'm wearing clothes that came from the Munchkinland Costume Department! Finally, after a nearly twenty-year absence, a jacket that covers my ass, but with a bit more structure! And sleeves that cover my arms! No more feeling like Ichobod Crane with exposed wrists.
If I decide to scrunch or roll, I will do it! My choice! There is fabric to spare!


Obviously, I'm wearing my new boyfriend jacket and I love it! It's perhaps a bit casual for work, but I don't care. It does need a scarf or something to soften me at the neck, but I had nothing that would work. Fashion update over.

I did not go out last night, but I did stay busy. I made some homemade chicken stock so that I can control the sodium content. I spot cleaned the carpet from the post-race red wine accident and I read some more of the weighlifting for women book on loan from the ever-fab Shelley.

Workout was good this morning. I spent some time on the stair climber, which is new for me, but I liked it. Certainly a quick way to work up a sweat. Today is Yoga Nidra, or restorative yoga, which I'm looking forward to. Tonight I think I'll attend a lecture/movie on urban sustainability. Unfortunately, I think I'll drive to get there.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Get Balanced.

-Roxie
155

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Anatomy of a Run

I decided I need a run this morning. So I went looking for my running tights. Couldn't not find them and if I've lost them, I'm going to be so very unhappy as they were expensive! I found some alternate clothing and headed for the gym.

Here's the thing about running. The first bit always hurts and your mind immediately kicks in with "I'll never be able to finish this. It just impossible." If you can manage to work through that and get your mind somewhere else and not thinking about every single step you take and how you wish you'd stretched your calves a little more, you can make it through. Concentrating on what hurts will get you No.Where.Fast. I needed to be reminded of this lesson, as I'm living in my head a bit too much. Self-analysis is a good thing, but doing it to the point of paralysis is not. I do believe that thoughts begat our reality and so I've got to get a little busy and get my mind off of lather.rinse.repeat.

So I went and aired it out a bit this morning. I mistakenly thought Spin class was yesterday, but it is today, so I'll do that today. I've also begun to create an activities calendar, as I need to be a bit more busy for a while and I need to accountable. I chose The Closet specifically not to isolate and I need to hold myself to that. I'm supposed to be building a life here, not picking lint out of my navel. So, I need a little more interaction and activity for the near future. I need to continue to work my program of recovery and just get the hell on with it.

Whew - now on to more about me and what I'm wearing today. Again with the tights, turns out I love them and am happy they come in two-packs! This time with a knee length black skirt ( and the black mid-calf black bootie things from yesterday. Another white button down shirt with an orange boiled wool zip-up, collared vest. Again, I'm wearing my black Brighton belt to belt the vest and I've tied my favorite J. Crew long, narrow silky scarf in shades of orange, red, ocre and green (thifted from Princeton, NJ) in the long style described here. I did take some self-portraits last evening with yesterday's outfit, but they are unfit for print. I did learn a few things, like how to use the timer, now I just need to work on lighting and perhaps taking the photos when I'm not quite so end-of-day-Ms.-Haggle-Baggy looking.

I could find nothing free to do tonight, so I may just take in a movie.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Be Fresh.

-Roxie
155.5

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Picture This

Thanks to Low Fat Dressing (LOVE THE TITLE), I've become a bit more interested in jazzing up my fashion statement these days. I can usually be found wearing Hillary Rodham Clinton's less expensive pantsuits during the fall/winter and your crazy Aunt Moonbeam's hippy-dippy long skirts in the spring/summer. Both ends of the fashion spectrum and where I truly fall is somewhere in the middle. I like classics with a sporty edge. I like crisp white shirts with popped collars and some graphic color. I love pashminas. I like a good fitting pair of jeans with some killer heels. I love big chunky jewelry, but have very little of it, other than a couple of cuff bracelets.

All of this to say that I'm not about to turn into a clothes horse (even though I did just hit the clearance rack at Marshall's a few days ago). I don't have the space or the inclination to do that. However, I can add a couple of versatile pieces and most importantly, find a style and stick to it! Accessorize, Roxie!

You will just have to imagine what I'm wearing today, as I cannot figure out how to take a self-portrait. Actually, I think it may involve learning how to off the flash or perhaps buying a tripod and finding the timer. But here goes - I'm wearing an almost ankle-length black AK skirt, a handme down from Pebbles. It's five years old, as it was part of the AK ensemble I bought her when she started her first job. It's been worn a mere handful of times by either of us. I went and bought tights yesterday, as I have no taller black boots. So I'm wearing this skirt (with a deep slit up the front) with black tights and ankle boots (gift from Mom about 4 years ago). I've got it topped with a white button down shirt with French cuffs(Princeton NJ thrift shop). I'm wearing my purple pashmina kinda over the shoulder (think Eddie Murphy in Coming to America, and I don't remember when/where I got the pashmina) and at a weird angle, all belted with a Brighton belt that is also a million years old. So there you have it. I've gotten a couple of compliments on the ensemble, including one from a former Freddie's-of-Movietown buyer. I don't really know what to make of THAT! So that's today's fashion show. I've got a body built for radio, for sure.

Shortened workout this morning. Spin class on tap at lunch. Tonight is another Closet residents' function, but I think I'll nix that in favor of watching the Dr. Oz show with all the folks on it. Hi Lori!. There's just no way to make both things work. I probably need inspiration more than I need a cheeseburger!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Add Flair.

-Roxie

Monday, February 15, 2010

Recovering

While I didn't get that massage I wanted, I do feel better today. I think I got too dehydrated, actually. Dehydration is nothing to mess around with. And I absolutely know better and did nothing about it. So I am feeling better today. I didn't exercise this morning, but I did go to a Pilates class today. I plan on getting in some cardio this evening, which I need as I'm in "Hominy Oatcake" mood, it appears.

My Valentine's Day was nice. Bick invited me and Sandy up for dinner on Sunday evening and he fixed some of the red fish he caught a couple of weeks ago. Blackened them and they were quite good. He also fixed brussels sprouts from the garden (and harvested some more for me to take home). I brought dessert and had a piece, but only one, and sent the rest home with Sandy. It was a nice event, but it had some sad parts as well.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Drink you damned water.

-Roxie

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Oh, My Aching ....Everything

I guess I was covered in "afterglow" last night when I wrote my entry. This morning, I woke up covered in "Oooouuuuucccccchhhhh". My everything hurts. I think it's all a function of wearing my chore boots without much support and pounding the pavement for nearly five hours. I feel like I've been beat up with a 2X4. Or it could be the post-race wine(s) or perhaps the post-race delivered Chinese food - at any rate, I'm feeling it today.

So I'm just going to take it pretty darn easy, although I'd pay a King's Ransom today for a massage.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Get good support.

-Roxie

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Challenge

Wow! What a wild ride! We had so much fun. There ended up being six of us - three teams of two with two crew chiefs shepherding an email list of helpers. As it was our first race, we made some strategic errors and we certainly weren't in any danger of finishing first! But we learned a lot and I cannot wait to do the next one. My partner in prime time finished the race with about 17K steps on her pedometer. I am sore, tired and grinning!

We went to Jurassic Park, sang karaoke, gave flowers to strangers, kisses statues, barrel raced after spinning on a bat, counted handles in an empty condominium, electric outlets at another, identified 5 of the 7 ingredients in chicken salad and more that I can't remember right now. Close to 5 hours worth of tricks and trials. Our bus karma was beautiful. We caught busses when we needed them and were already on the busses when they stopped for others, but were too full to allow them entry! That was pure luck - I actually said to the team "We came into this part of town as a part of a full bus - where is everyone?" As our bus took off to return to the finish line, we found the rest of the people - on the next two stops - and half of them weren't allowed on. So got very lucky. How frustrating would that be?

The weather turned out to be very nice at race's end, but it was wet, cold and foggy when the day started.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Whistler Memories

President's Day weekend was always a ski weekend for us. As I was reading about the lack of snow problems for the Winter Olympics at Whistler, I was reminded of our family trip there about twelve years ago. It was pretty much a disaster from start to finish. We flew into Vancouver rather than Seattle on this trip. ExBubba and his ski buddy, Rat Tail, were detained by Canadian officials at customs (Pebbles and I came up a few days ahead), separated and grilled for over an hour about the details of the trip. I guess bringing in snowboards and looking like, well, hippies, caused some raised eyebrows. And because I'd made all the travel arrangements, neither of them knew where they were going or where we were staying when quizzed by officials.

They did know we were visiting my home in Washington after skiing in Whistler, but they knew none of the details of that either, and when asked if they were going to USA (pronounced you-sa), they told the officials they didn't know where that was! The Canadians finally realized these guys were harmless and let them go. We headed up to Whistler.

I was still recovering from surgery and was too fat to ski anyway (I have some before pictures from this trip) so I stayed in the condo while ExBubba, Rat Tailed and Pebbles went skiing. It was a foggy, foggy day on the mountain and there was very little base, but plenty of rain, even at the "best of the West, Whistler". It was raining and miserable and ExBubba LOST Pebbles. He came down off the mountain and back to the condo hoping she would be there, but she hadn't arrived. They had gotten separated in the fog on a trail and she took an alternate, but slower route down. By this time, the lifts had closed for the day. I was FRANTIC with worry. ExBubba went back to alert the ski patrol that we had one still on the mountain, but about an hour later, she came wandering back in.

And then The Traveling Hillbillies went out to eat that night, with squeaky-tight Rat-Tail treating as a gesture for staying with us as our guest. We found a reasonable place for dinner in the village and all ordered iced tea with our dinner, cuz we be southern. They served their iced tea in a high ball glass. We kept asking for refills and complaining to each other about the slow service. When the bill arrived, it was for $100 CDN, with a full $40 of that being for iced tea!

What a trip! I would never have guessed that I would be getting snow here in Texas and Whistler would go lacking!

Snow Day 2: Electric Boogaloo

I got word last night that today would be another snow day. This really does mess with my prep for the race tomorrow. The Closet (which is conveniently located near the race start) is serving as Headquarters and will have the crew chiefs hanging out here. I need to get some snackies and provisions (and lookup the wifi password! as I don't have a CLUE as to what it is). I'm thinking everything is all frozen and icy today as opposed to pristine, white and beautiful from yesterday.

I'm doing some work from home this morning then I'll make the trek over to the gym for some sort of a workout.

That's all I got, other than Closet Fever.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Plan.

-Roxie
154.5

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Snow Days and Shopping


I pulled on my hat, coat, gloves, ski socks and pink-polka dotted Wellies and went out and about. I just got back from a walking/shopping trip to the FINAL CLEARANCE rack at Marshall's. Total damage? 34 dollars and some change. The haul? One boyfriend blazer (black with a purple paisley lining), two pairs of work appropriate pants, one white button-down shirt, one flouncy long skirt (FOR A DOLLAR!), a vest for layering and a very springy, flowy, dressy blouse.

Now to wash the clothes I already own! Laundry, here I come.

It's still snowing here like crazy! It's been a long time since there's been this mu ch snow in this part of Texas. I think we'll see a foot or more before this is all said and done. The scary part is that all this moisture is gonna freeze tonight. Slicker than goose poop around here tomorrow. I will want a snow day tomorrow when it will actually be treacherous.

Food today is on track. Because of my binge/compulsive eating history, I do not try to restrict how much I eat. I tell myself that I can eat as much of some foods as I would like - if I get restrictive, I get crazy. It's only the kinds of foods that I restrict, not the quantity. And truly, who really goes overboard on broccoli? And if I don't want broccoli or grilled chicken breast then I'm not really hungry. It's just a little mind trick that I have to play on myself from time to time to get/keep myself on track.

Snow Day!



I was in the gym working out this morning when I saw my place of employment was closed for the day! What a surprise! SNOW DAY! Yippee! This also means that Pebbles and Slater may have a difficult time flying out this morning. They are off on their ski trip and to visit a gaggle of Slater's siblings who live in Utah. Wishing them safe travel and skiing!

I don't know what I'll do today - I'm hoping to get out and tromp around in the snow later on in the day. Oh, and there's always laundry.

I did get a couple of pictures from the wedding sent to me by the happy couple this morning while they were hanging around the airport. Definitely not snow day pictures!

Reality Check

The surprise part of the blood draw was the whole weighing and measuring thing. I was actively avoiding the scale this past week as I'd had quite a few meals out and I'd been snacky. Well, yesterday I wasn't about to explain my scale aversion to the young med-tech who was handing me the tape measure and telling me to step on the scales - all while I was dressed for warmth! So not fair. The damage? 156.6.

I decided that it was a pretty decent WI, given well, the smores. Plus sweater, and layers and a belt. And the scale probably weighed heavy, to boot, right?

So this morning I did hop on my scale to see if I was still hovering around 153 as expected. Um, no. I'm now sitting at my DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER WILL ROBINSON boundary. Well, crap.

So now I know. It's time to readjust my way back to what works for me! I've been eating more carbs than I can comfortably function on. So, course adjustment, here I come.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Don't kid yourself.

-Roxie
157 - the hundred pound loss threshhold.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

No Coffee? Really?

I've changed up my schedule this morning, choosing to lounge around in bed until the last possible second. It's blood draw morning for a new prevention plan at work, so no coffee for me this morning. In order to make that as painless as possible, I slept late and am just about ready to hop in the shower then off for the draw.

Yesterday was a stressful day. I have a work situation going on that requires me to be my best self as the personalities involved tend to push my particular buttons. I own those buttons and it's my responsibility to see they don't get pushed. Yesterday, I was mostly successful.

Dinner last night was wonderful. Bick and Sandy came into town for Bick's birthday dinner. We went to my new favorite place and they loved it. We had a really nice time. Sandy seems to be doing really well - she's chatty and appears happy. She even brought me a couple of Valentine's Day cupcakes she'd made. I really appreciate that as she's been less-than-gracious in the past. Her Dad has said she's much more involved with him, as well. All good things. (Oh, and after they left, I had what some other blogger termed a "cupcake funeral" - into the trash they went). I still enjoyed getting them very much - it meant a lot to me, but I didn't need to keep them around to eat them. Wasteful? Probably. Waistful? Not this time.

Bick did allow that he'd made a doctor's appointment for March 1. This is his self-described first step to battle his demons. I remain hopeful, but detached. Either he will or he won't. But it was lovely to spend time with him - he was absolutely at his best - we ended up with the neighboring table over at hours sharing our smores - cuz Bick is that kind of guy. Met some lovely people and shared a few laughs. Another reason for the cupcake funeral - smores! I ate soup for dinner as I knew Sandy would adore the smores and we had to order that. She loved them! And they serve an army, hence the shared dessert with the group next to us. Turned out to be a whole six degree thing. Small world.

Anyway, enough of that. Nice evening. Time to shower and go give up my arm to the Vampires who want my blood. I KNOW there are still smores coursing through those veins.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Meet the Neighbors.

-Roxie

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Linguine Limbs

Okay, so perhaps upper body strength training coupled with BODYPUMP was just a skosh much. I think my arms are now longer and noodle-y but are incapable of holding even a mascara tube. Seriously, I really loved the BODYPUMP class and I do believe they are some kind of franchise dealio - meaning they are pretty much the same everywhere.

I did, however, use some pretty light weights. Very light, in fact, as I wanted to still be able to move today and for the rest of the week as I prepare for the challenge race on Saturday. It was that race that kept me awake last night thinking about it and awakened me at 2am for more racing thoughts. I so did not want to get out of bed this morning. I did and spent an hour on the elliptical.

Bick and Sandy are coming into town tonight to celebrate Bick's birthday at my favorite restaurant across the street from The Closet. I believe it will be my third trip there. I hope they enjoy it as much as I do.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Lift.

-Roxie

Monday, February 8, 2010

Strength Training

I did go to the gym this morning and did 3.5 miles on the treadmill and followed it up with some upper body strength training. There is a pretty nice selection of strength machines as well as free weights at The Closet's workout facility. It's probably time to avail myself of the opportunity to use them.

My motivation to get really intense with my exercise has been non-existant lately. So perhaps a little lifting is just what I need. It's probably time to spring for the NRFWRLLOLLMAO (or whatever the hell y'all call it). And until my intensity motivation returns, I'll just have to settle for the whole consistency motivation.

My weekend was just wonderful. Meg managed to make it out of New Jersey ahead of the Snowcalypse and then managed to make it back home again. In the meantime, there was plenty of talking, walking and eating! We made a pact to try to get together at least once a year for more of the same. I'm fortunate to have such a great friend and while we don't talk regularly, we always manage to pick up where we left off.

I'm trying to decide whether to go to BODYPUMP or Pilates at lunch. I'm leaning towards BODYPUMP.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Pump it up a notch.

-Roxie

Better Served

I sat down to do a blog entry this morning detailing my rude awakening by some sort of piercing, screeching alarm at 4am this morning. And the thought struck me that I am better served by an extra long walk on the treadmill this morning.

More later.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thursday Mishmash

Random Tidbits, in no particular order.

1. I am being slothful this morning. Pebbles is coming through town, so I'm meeting her for an early breakfast today. Always a wonderful way to start the day.

2. Since I am usually at the gym during this hour, I had no idea that I live directly under Big Foot. Obviously, the heavy stepper gets up at 6 am and is out the door before I get back from the gym. This morning I think he (or she) is doing Mambo #5 on my head.

3. I thought I'd found the world's most perfect cracker/crispbead/wafer thingy. I bought a small package last night at Target after reading the nutrition facts and enjoyed some last night. I was all ready to come here and post this wonderful news about finding a crispy thing that wasn't horrible and didn't seem to have so much salt and didn't make we want to finish the whole damn package and then I read the nutrition information online and was sorely disappointed. What I read last night as 15 carbs per serving of 19 little wafers, this morning read as 25. Not nearly so wonderful. Crackers and chips, with their comely combination of salt, fat and crunch are my downfall. I have no brakes. Whatever size they come in, that's a serving size to me - either grab-bag or Costco, makes me no matter. Obviously, I don't bring such things in the house very often, but in preparing for Meg's visit (TOMORROW! YAY!) I was getting together a bit of a nosh and just had to sample. Oh well.

Today's class will be restorative yoga, which will be nice after yesterday's spin class that left me in a puddle.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Beware of Big Foot.

-Roxie
153

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Big Picture

Wednesday must be funk day here in Bloggerville. Some of my favorite people are either outright struggling or in some sort of a funk. Me, I'm more in the funk-y camp. I've spent the morning trying to decide what was causing my woe-ette-is-me frame of mind.

The nutshell version is this: I'm irritated that the scale is moving in a direction that is unexpected and, I think, unwarranted. I'm irritated that whatever new security features installed on my laptop prevent me from leaving comments on some blogs. I hate all my clothes. Pebbles made a remark that sort of stung a little bit. Or rather, I chose to be stung - my issue, not hers. I am dreading the conversation with Bick that should come soon. It will be a difficult talk to have, but it needs to be done. Valentine's Day will be the next opportunity to have a face-to-face. Am I the woman who breaks up with someone on Valentine's Day? Am I the woman who goes through Valentine's Day knowing what's coming? Or on his birthday? Bitch.Whine.Moan.

And then I went back through my archives - dating back to 2001 and reread some of the stuff from earlier times. Boy, am I glad I'm in THIS February versus some of the other Februarys. I like the 2010 Roxie much better than the far-more-frantic woman of years before. I'm in a much better, much healthier (on many levels) space than I've been before. Good things - keeping an eye on the overall journey rather than just whatever twinge today. It's important to stay in the moment, but getting a bigger perspective can sometimes help.

Good workout this morning, plus I went again last night to keep myself from an "hominy oatcake" experience. I don't know what's on tap for the noon hour.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Progress, not perfection.

-Roxie
153.5

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Crazy At Heart

One of my favorite "crazy old broad" friends and I just agreed to do this.

Grace Slick

I am so not a girly-girl - yet. The Hair, while I love it, continues to confound a bit. I think I'm doing a decent job of mastering The Art of The Big Round Brush and I'm learning to use product. What I haven't mastered is The Frizzies. Since today was not a wash day, I had a bit of extra frizz going. So just as I was finishing up my makeup, I reached over, grabbed some anti-frizz stuff and rubbed on my hair. Except, wait for it, it wasn't the right anti-frizz product. I used the one for wet hair, not for dry hair. So now I've got hair that is both greasy and frizzy looking. You want to be me, don't you?

I'm also a bit frustrated with all my clothes. My latest clothes, other than special event pieces, were purchased four years ago. I just realized that this morning as I was gazing through the Sea of Brown that is my closet. And what I've been doing is telling myself I need to get a few new pieces and then I go and buy more shoes. Which, unless I'm moonlighting as a stripper, still leaves me with nothing to wear to work. So inspired by Shelley's link to Low Fat Dressing and all the wonderful links on that website, it's time to add a couple of cute blazers/jackets. And a cute black belt. Obviously, it's my secret desire to look like Suz Orman - without The Matrix influence.

Workout was good this morning. I think yoga is on tap for lunch. I've got a bit of straightening up to do tonight in prep for Meg's arrival on Friday. YAY! I get to hand over the gavel to the next incoming prez of a professional organization, lead my last meeting for the group and then head to the airport to pick up Meg for our girls weekend. I am so looking forward to it. There will be wine. I went to the wine store last night! On Thursday, Bick and I are attending a simulcast of PHC as a birthday thing for him, which should be fun. So I'm pretty booked up for the next week. Meg in town for the weekend. I'm attending a lecture on Monday evening and then Bick and Sandy are coming into town on Tuesday to complete the birthday celebration. Plus, I was invited to a girls gathering on the following Saturday night. Dance card is pretty full - a lot to do. A bit of downtime, then I'll leave for a professional meeting in San Antonio at the end of the month. Whew!

So that's all the news on this Tuesday.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Tame the frizz.

-Roxie
153

Monday, February 1, 2010

Adult Onset Athletics

I've been asked if I was always athletic. Well, I was strong and stout as a youth. Living on a farm, I was bucking bales to feed horses on a daily basis. I broke out youngsters and was generally very, very fit - in a Serena Williams' sort of way. Short, stocky, powerhouse. But I was never athletic. I did play tennis, but only doubles when pared with a rabbit, as I was/am S.L.O.W. but I had a powerful stroke that could knock a racket out of a lesser hand. And then I quit doing all of that and my eating habits/disorders caught up with me and I just got big.

Decades pass and it's 1998 and I learn a new way of eating and fairly quickly dropped 75 pounds without a step of exercise. It wasn't until mid-2004, I believe, that I started exercising and even then I didn't want to. A friend from work (TheMerryNewlywed) was dilligent in her exercise, participating in the classes offered here on the job. Her husband had just been diagnosed with a pretty aggressive form of cancer and I took up exercising solely as a way to spend some time with her and make her laugh. Yep, comic relief and a desire to be supportive finally got me off the couch. From there, I gradually came to incorporate exercise as a part of my life and dropped an additional 40 pounds in the process when I was running the most and eating the least. By October of 2006, I'd reached a milestone - a ten mile run with no breaks of any kind. Now granted, I don't do that anymore and I've picked up about 15 or so of those pounds back, exercise is now an almost daily part of my life. I have battled anxiety and depression my entire life and exercise gives me a fighting chance to keep it at bay without meds. I'm not anti-med, I just prefer to be off, if possible.

So that's my story. I've grown to love both vegetables and exercise. I've kept off a big chunk of weight for over ten years and am generally happier and healthier than I was during my twenties and thirties. If my fifties are a continuation of my forties, then they are going to ROCK.

pic taken February 2006.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Adopt fitness and health as a lifestyle.

-Roxie
151.5